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New Year’s Day bowl games open thread

Posted by HenryJames on January 1st, 2010 under Football

First up is the Outback Bowl between Auburn and Northwestern. I don’t get Outback Steakhouse. I don’t get Australian-themed restaurants in general. I mean, what the fuck is walkabout soup? And what the fuck are jackaroo chops? But I guess if you like it that’s cool.

Northwestern’s quarterback looks older than their head coach. And he’s named Kafka which at least one sideline finds funny. What’s funnier is that he’s throwing to a couple of guys named Drake Dusnmore and Zeke Markshausen. So Auburn probably feels like they’re playing a frat.

Auburn is up 14-7 on the strength of two interceptions by Walter McFadden, one of which he returned 100 yards for a touchdown.

It’s not the most exciting game out there, but it is a game. And as Andy Warhol said, ‘People will always watch something rather than nothing.’

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108 Responses

  1. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Showing the Leach interview with ESPN. Pulling no punches talking about the James.’ Says Craig James ‘required more time than all the other parents combined.’

  2. dick said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 10:46 am

    Two ints for NW in the end zone, one returned 100 yards. NW should be winning by a TD. SEC SEC SEC!

    We’ll still get plenty of enjoyment from Leach even with him not in the Big 12.

  3. sizzlechest said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Craig James has committed career seppuku. The slow ‘bleeding out the wrists in the bathtub’ kind.

  4. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 10:51 am

    I applaud ESPN for letting Leach mock James. But, Leach pulled some punches in ESPN’s favor, talking about James’ “bullhorn” and $, but not mentioning ESPN. It is an interesting ombudsman situation, where someone at a news outlet becomes news because, in part, of his posiiton, and the outlet has to try to report the story.

  5. Sailor Ripley said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:00 am

    It’s not ESPN’s fault they have a big megaphone. If Craig James was abusing that, they’ll kick his ass to the curb. Or they won’t because nobody really cares.

    Either way, this is all awesome.

  6. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:02 am

    No, it’s not their fault, but it does complicate how they can cover it. Craig James is going to regret this whole thing too, rest assured.

  7. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Time to switch to the better SEC-Big 10 matchup. Maybe this is the game where Paterno finally goes Woody Hayes and punches some dude for standing on his ‘lawn.’

  8. Sailor Ripley said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:12 am

    How they cover it? They just stuck an open microphone and camera in front a flamethrower. I’d say it’s covered.

  9. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:14 am

    Right — and I’ll wait to see how their anchors report it (it being the Craig James portions of what Leach said), but that’s where it gets a little more interesting.

  10. bob said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:19 am

    Here’s the link to the interview

    http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4787194

  11. Puedlfor said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:20 am

    Penn State vs LSU is going to be defined by the number of big plays that would’ve happened if the player hadn’t lost his footing on the terrible field. Or someone blowing out a couple ligaments like the MIami player.

  12. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:22 am

    I’m tempted to describe Les Miles as a high functioning retard.

  13. Steve Pincock said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:25 am

    I have a ridiculously funny name.

  14. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:28 am

    The field is a complete disaster.

  15. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:29 am

    Looks like they’re playing in a bog.

  16. fitzhume said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:29 am

    High functioning?

  17. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:32 am

    That’s why I’m only tempted.

  18. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:34 am

    LSU is horribly coached.

  19. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:34 am

    Does Penn St assign someone to tell Paterno what’s happening?

  20. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:39 am

    LSU’s speed is being negated, and that’s all they have.

  21. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:43 am

    They are so much faster that they should be able to make it work, even in a quagmire.

  22. BrickHorn said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:47 am

    Is Erin Andrews in the middle of a 10k or something?

  23. Trips Right said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:48 am

    Is the SEC being exposed? Tenny, LSU, and Auburn all look like ass.

  24. Sailor Ripley said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:49 am

    Does Penn St assign someone to tell Paterno what’s happening?

    It does seem like he turns around and screams get those kids off my lawn at no one in particular every now and then.

  25. Trips Right said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:52 am

    Watching the LSU vs. Penn State game, and I can confirm that white people are indeed faster in the water.

  26. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:52 am

    They should mic Les Miles during a game.

  27. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:54 am

    +1 Trips.

    I think 6 of Penn State’s front 7 on defense are white. It’s like the Big 10 has gone Mormon.

  28. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 11:59 am

    There were better coached teams than LSU in the Superdome after Katrina.

  29. sizzlechest said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    I see HJs New Year’s resolutions are already being practiced.

  30. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    I’m pretty sure the only cure for this hangover is to start drinking.

  31. sizzlechest said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Gene Chizik’s players are dumber than he is.

  32. Andy Warhol said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    ‘In The Penal Colony’ wasn’t what I was expecting at all…
    And thanks for keeping my name on your lips HJ.

  33. BrickHorn said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Wow. Lousy spot.

  34. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    There’s an SEC spot for you.

  35. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    True story about LSU football:

    At one of the first team meetings this past year, the coaching staff gave its “adjusting to life on campus” speech to a bunch of incoming freshmen and asked whether anyone had anything to say. One of them (starting in the secondary now) asked the coached who “On-campus Update” was and why the guy kept e-mailing him, saying “I don’t even know that $%#@er.” The statement was met with a bunch of nodding heads and shouts of “Yeah” and “tell that dude to leave me alone too.” On-Campus update is a student-wide email update regarding road/building/facilites closures and announcements.

  36. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    I’m gonna kick that On-Campus Update mothafuckas ASS!

  37. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    I thought On-Campus Update was that receiver for the Bengals.

  38. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    On-Campus Update is He Hate Me’s cousin on his mother’s side.

  39. BrickHorn said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    Luke Wilson looks like he got a whole head collagen injection.

  40. sizzlechest said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    That official’s Native American name is Pockets with Two Flags.

  41. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Mike Davis must be following Terrance Tolliver’s career.

  42. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Leach for OC.

    Yeah, I’m still drunk.

  43. Puedlfor said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    Northwestern’s tying two point conversion was all sorts of awesome.

  44. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    And Auburn fumbles the ensuing kickoff at midfield.

  45. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    NU/Auburn is incredible.

  46. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    I really want Northwestern to win this game.

  47. Dunstan Pearl said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    Kafka’s line is ridiculous. 500+ yards, 4 TDs, 5 picks.

  48. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    The announcers of this Auburn-NW game really do not get along.

  49. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Demos is Greek for ‘wide right.’

  50. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    The players names on this NW team sound like the starting 11 for Red Star Belgrade rather than a college football team.

  51. Dunstan Pearl said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    This is the worst announcing crew I’ve ever heard.

  52. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    I want to beat Jesse Palmer to death with a shovel.

  53. fitzhume said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    I’ve always liked how he pronounces “athlete” with three syllables, even though he’s Canadian.

  54. Craig Biggio's Dirty Uniform said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    Auburn is smart

  55. Puedlfor said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    The ball doesn’t come out until his arm hits. I don’t understand what the officials are seeing on these last two plays. These are pretty obvious calls on the field.

  56. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    Le Etranger!

  57. Puedlfor said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    Someone on Auburn has money on Northwestern.

  58. Craig Biggio's Dirty Uniform said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    If this was Texas…OMG

  59. fitzhume said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    holy crap.

  60. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    Christ. I’m ready to mute this for the rest of the game. these guys are morons.

  61. Craig Biggio's Dirty Uniform said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    auburn booing the NU kicker. classy rubes

  62. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    Pretty sure Bobby Bowden was pooping his Depends the entire time Tracy Wolfson was talking to him.

  63. fitzhume said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Classy, auburn fans. Go ahead and boo the injured kicker.

  64. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Wow. I don’t mind that play call. Too bad for NW.

  65. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    I’m not one for hyperbole, but that was the greatest football game in history.

  66. johnnymac said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    That Auburn game was the tits. They kept trying so hard to lose and Northwestern just didn’t have anyone who could kick, including the kicker.

    SEC! SEC!

  67. Magnificent Bastard said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Man, Gene Chizik can coach.

  68. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    We can only hope LSU continues to suck, otherwise SEC fan is going to be even more insufferable.

  69. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    Food for thought:

    If Pelini and his ass-clowns don’t piss away the Virginia Tech game earlier this year then we are looking at a completely different analysis of our close win over Nebraska and, correspondingly, a completely differen line for the Bama game. Va Tech destroyed a Tenn team that gave Bama a fight. And Auburn barely beat Northwestern.

  70. gargle said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    That game was f’n nuts.

  71. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    Did Miles REALLY challenge that fumble? Really?

    I like what Pelini and his ass-clowns are doing in Huskerville. It does none of us any good for the north division to suck.

  72. Trips Right said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Yes, but Bama destroyed Virginia Tech.

  73. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Oh, I know. Transitive is a mess this year. But if Nebraska wins one other high-profile game we look much better.

  74. johnnymac said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I felt much better about Nebraska after Wednesday night. Much.

  75. Bateshorn said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    Bowden may be completely out to lunch, but some of those kids can still fly like back in the day.

  76. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    They should never, ever play this bowl game again as punishment for this field. This is ridiculous.

  77. Craig Biggio's Dirty Uniform said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Corn dogs for everyone

  78. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Chicks that hot never work at Taco Bell. Flying Saucer maybe.

  79. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Flying Saucer waitresses always have that three bumps from the Men’s Club thing about them. Bless their hearts.

  80. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Tebow needs to fly in and heal the Capital One field.

  81. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I’m pretty excited to see how Miles manages to lose this game. Also, when did Penn State adopt that White Stripes song as its fight song?

  82. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Les Miles is about to f*ck that chicken.

  83. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    Miles just told the Penn Stare qb to spike it.

  84. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Joe Pa still coaching and leading on the sideline.

  85. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    Chad Jones can hit and pitch.

  86. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    LSU self destructs.

  87. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    How awesome was that? No timeouts and Les calls a 4-yard route over the middle.

  88. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Leach gets fired but Les Miles has a job in D1?

    Yeah, makes sense.

  89. HenryJames said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    Everyone in attendance at Bowden’s last game should have been given a free pair of shoes.

  90. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    TOR raises a good point. How is Miles still employed? LSU is the worst game management team in any of the major conferences. Notwithstanding our own near miss.

  91. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Excellent. Let the Musberger drinking game commence.

  92. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    I would make Kenny Smith and Charles Barkle do pre-games and in-studios for all major sporting events if I were king.

  93. parlinhall said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Everyone in attendance at Bowden’s last game should have been given a free pair of shoes.

    So–buy Florsheim?

  94. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    SAS

  95. Craig Biggio's Dirty Uniform said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    Go Quack Attack. I hate the Buckeyes. The Sooners of the North I tell ya.

  96. Puedlfor said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    I think I’m going to watch the Rose Bowl, and wish Pyror was playing in a system like Oregon that would actually take advantage of the fact that he’s very big and very fast.

  97. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    FOLKS! drink

  98. j.r.69 said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Speaking of Bo Pelini……..

    Someone on Hornfans asked if Bo Pelini’s father was a camel.

    Very astute observation, IMO.

  99. BrickHorn said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    There are still people posting on Hornfans?

  100. TOR said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Looked like Roy – hit him right in the hands.

  101. Trips Right said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    There’s a rosebowl thread I’m lonely in. Join me, you asswipes.

  102. Sailor Ripley said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Rose Bowl Open Thread here:

    http://barkingcarnival.veraloft.com/2010/01/01/grandaddyofemall-open-thread/

  103. Toadvine said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    PAC-10 defenses are uniquely poor this year.

  104. Texas_Dawg said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Thom Brennaman assumes the position…

  105. Newy25 said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    I am convinced that Les Miles has a BCS title entirely as a result of a bunch of random events. His inability to understand the most basic functions of a game continue to stun me.

  106. sizzlechest said:

    January 1st, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    Pac-10 officials – nice.

  107. texoz said:

    January 2nd, 2010 at 11:05 am

    No comments about Florida & Tebow throwing passes with 7 minutes left and up 27 points? Ithought the Bearcat coach was gonna run across the field and punch Urban in the face.

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